Offtopic Profesionist

[tradelover]

Nu stiu daca sa o pun aici, ori la criza financiara, pentru ca e mai mult de plâns decât de râs... Totusi eu am căzut pe jos de râs la prima citire, până a mă gândi la plâns, hihi...

 

Deci din scornicelile lui Gary North (v-am mai spus despre el):

 

DR. BERNANKE GETS A PHONE CALL

 

 

Zhou Xiaochuan is the Governor of the People's Bank of

China. Imagine that the following phone call were to take

place.

 

 

Zhou: Hello. Dr. Bernanke?

 

Bernanke: Yes.

 

Zhou: I wanted to let you know about the decision that our

board has taken, after consulting with the Premier and the

Politburo's Standing Committee. We hope you are sitting

down.

 

Bernanke: I get it. A little Oriental humor.

 

Zhou: You could say that.

 

Bernakne: What can I do for you?

 

Zhou: You can abandon your plan to purchase $600 billion of

Treasury bonds.

 

Bernanke: The Federal Open Market Committee voted ten to 1

for this policy. I cannot change it now.

 

Zhou: We think it is an unwise policy. It will lower the

value of the dollar. Americans will then buy fewer goods

from China.

 

Bernanke: That is not how we see it. We think the policy

is required to put Americans back to work. They will buy

more goods from China and everywhere else when they are

once again working.

 

Zhou: You will increase the supply of dollars, which will

lower the dollar's price internationally. Imported goods

will cost Americans more. An increased supply of dollars

will mean a lower price for dollars. It's supply and

demand.

 

Bernanke: That is the old economics. That is the logic of

Adam Smith and Milton Friedman and those kooks from Vienna.

We are committed to the new economics.

 

Zhou: Who teaches it? Where?

 

Bernanke: I taught it for years at Princeton.

 

Zhou: Where Paul Krugman also teaches?

 

Bernanke: Yes.

 

Zhou: We see it differently here. We prefer the older

economics.

 

Bernanke: Adam Smith's economics?

 

Zhou: No, even older.

 

Bernanke: Mercantilism?

 

Zhou: That is what you call it. We call it the export-

driven Asian miracle.

 

Bernanke: But mercantilist governments wanted to hoard

gold. Your nation does not hoard gold. Your bank holds

U.S. Treasury debt.

 

Zhou: That is the purpose of my call.

 

Bernanke: Gold?

 

Zhou: No. U.S. Treasury debt.

 

Bernanke: What about it?

 

Zhou: There is too much of it.

 

Bernanke: You sound like Ron Paul.

 

Zhou: Ah, yes. Congressman Paul. I understand that he is

likely to be the next chairman of the Monetary Policy

Subcommittee. You and he should have some interesting

discussions.

 

Bernanke: I prefer to talk about Treasury debt.

 

Zhou: We have determined that an increase of $600 billion

in your purchases of Treasury debt will lower the rate of

interest on the debt.

 

Bernanke: That is our thought, too.

 

Zhou: We hold almost $1 trillion in Treasury debt.

 

Bernanke: You ought to buy more.

 

Zhou: We will be losing money on our holdings if rates

fall.

 

Bernanke: You ought to buy more.

 

Zhou: The value of the dollar will fall. That will lower

the value of our holdings.

 

Bernanke: Nevertheless, you ought to buy more.

 

Zhou: We have decided to own less.

 

Bernanke: How much less?

 

Zhou: $600 billion less.

 

Bernanke:

 

Zhou: Dr. Bernanke?

 

Bernanke:

 

Zhou: Are you still there?

 

Bernanke: I am still here.

 

Zhou: We have decided that every time the Federal Reserve

purchases its monthly total of $75 billion, we will sell

$75 billion.

 

Bernanke: Are you serious?

 

Zhou: You sound like Nancy Pelosi.

 

Bernanke: But that would raise interest rates on Treasury

debt.

 

Zhou: That is our conclusion, too. But remember: we own

lots of Treasury debt. We could use a better rate of

return.

 

Bernanke: But higher rates might cause a recession in the

United States.

 

Zhou: That is our conclusion, too.

 

Bernanke: But that will mean fewer imports from China.

 

Zhou: We think it will mean more bankrupt manufacturing

facilities in the United States. Then Americans will come

back to our manufacturers.

 

Bernanke: But this could cause unemployment in China if you

are wrong.

 

Zhou: We are willing to risk that.

 

Bernanke: That is a big risk on your part.

 

Zhou: No bigger than the risk on your part by inflating the

monetary base by 30%. That could raise prices in the

United States.

 

Bernanke: We don't think so.

 

Zhou: Why not?

 

Bernanke: Because our bankers are so frightened of

recession in 2011 that they are not lending. They just

turn the money over to the FED.

 

Zhou: Then you do not expect inflation?

 

Bernanke: Only a little. Maybe 2% to 3%.

 

Zhou: You sound like Milton Friedman.

 

Bernanke: Around here, we say, "Better 2% inflation than

9.6% unemployment."

 

Zhou: We think it is better for us not to hold onto

Treasury debt that cannot be paid off.

 

Bernanke. Don't worry. We owe it to ourselves.

 

Zhou: On the contrary, you owe it to us.

 

Bernanke: It's only a figure of speech.

 

Zhou: We can figure. We are going to be left holding the

bag, as you say. All we have is a pile of IOUs.

 

Bernanke: They're as good as gold.

 

Zhou: Since they pay zero interest, we think gold is

better.

 

Bernanke: It's only a figure of speech.

 

Zhou: We can figure. Gold is over $1,350 an ounce. The

dollar has been falling. We think the older mercantilism

was right. We want to own more gold.

 

Bernanke: You can't eat gold!

 

Zhou: We can't eat T-bonds, either.

 

Bernanke: But if you sell dollars, their price will fall.

 

Zhou: Why?

 

Bernanke: It's supply and demand.

 

Zhou: Gotcha!

 

Bernanke: You speak English very well.

 

Zhou: You see, I was educated in your country at UCRA.

 

Bernanke: Really?

 

Zhou: Not really. But I love those old Richard Loo World

War II movies. He made a great Japanese officer.

 

Bernanke: But if you sell Treasury debt, that could start a

fire sale. Central banks all over the world might start

selling T-bonds.

 

Zhou: That is a possibility.

 

Bernanke: But that would make your holdings worth even

less.

 

Zhou: That is true. So, if Japan starts selling, we will

dump all of our holdings in one shot. We might as well get

out before the rush.

 

Bernanke: But that could crash the dollar!

 

Zhou: That is a possibility.

 

Bernanke: You're bluffing!

 

Zhou: That is a possibility.

 

Bernanke: But this is not the way that central banks

operate.

 

Zhou: How do they operate?

 

Bernanke: They inflate.

 

Zhou: Always?

 

Bernanke: Of course always. That is the only policy tool

we have.

 

Zhou: You could deflate.

 

Bernanke: Are you serious?

 

Zhou: You really have Nancy Pelosi down pat.

 

Bernanke: There is no way we can deflate.

 

Zhou: What about your exit strategy? That is deflation.

 

Bernanke: In theory, yes. But we don't intend to execute

it.

 

Zhou: That is not what you told Congress. You told

Congress you have an exit strategy. Several, in fact.

 

Bernanke: We do have them. We just don't intend to

implement them.

 

Zhou: Do you think you can fool Congress?

 

Bernanke: Are you serious? Congress doesn't know horse

apples from apple butter.

 

Zhou: You mistake Barney Frank for Ron Paul. You will now

have to deal with Ron Paul.

 

Berrnanke:

 

Zhou: Hello.

 

Bernanke:

 

Zhou: Are you still there?

 

Bernanke: Yes, I'm still here.

 

Zhou: We are not asking you to deflate. We are asking you

not to inflate.

 

Bernanke: But we must inflate.

 

Zhou: Why?

 

Bernanke: Because we have 9.6% unemployment.

 

Zhou: What has that got to do with your decision to

inflate?

 

Bernanke: We must lower interest rates.

 

Zhou: For Treasury bonds.

 

Bernanke: Yes.

 

Zhou: What does that have to do with unemployment?

 

Bernanke: When mid-term rates are lower, businesses will

start new projects and hire people.

 

Zhou: Mid-maturity T-bond interest rates are the lowest

ever since what you call the Great Depression and what we call

the old normal.

 

Bernanke: You can never have low enough T-bond rates.

 

Zhou: But, as Treasury bond investors, we don't like low

rates. We like high rates. We hold lots of T-bonds. If

we get very low rates, we might as well own gold.

 

Bernanke: But you will like all that increased demand for

made-in-China goods when all those unemployed Americans go

back to work.

 

Zhou: But rates are lower than they have been in 80 years.

You still have 9.6% unemployment.

 

Bernanke: But if the 10-year T-bond rate goes from 2.6% to

1%, American businessmen will hire millions of workers.

 

Zhou: Do you have evidence for this in one of those dozen

Federal Reserve bank monthly bulletins? Or maybe in the

"Federal Reserve Bulletin"?

 

Barnanke: Not really. But it's the thought that counts.

 

Zhou: I don't think we are getting anywhere. So, just to

remind you. We will sell enough Treasury debt each month

to match any net increase in the amount you buy.

 

Bernanke: Dollar for dollar?

 

Zhou: Dollar for dollar. But, I'll tell you what. Buy them

from us, and we'll give you a discount for volume

purchases.

 

Bernanke: You guys never miss a trick, do you?

 

Zhou: We're really not inscrutable. We just offer

discounts for volume purchases.

 

Bernanke: I will discuss this with the FOMC.

 

Zhou: Do that. Shalom!

 

Bernanke: That's my middle name.

 

Zhou: You Americans have a saying for everything.

 

Bernanke: No. I mean it. That really is my middle name.

 

Zhou: If you start buying Treasury debt, you'll have an

honorary middle name over here.

 

Bernanke: What's that?

 

Zhou: Paper Tiger.

 

Editat Martie 4, 2011 de tradelover

[dirzuandreiovidiu]

@tradelover

 

Parca imi mi-i si imaginez pe sticla - doua papusi gen muppets zicand tot dialogul de mai sus, pe un ton serios. Great stuff! Oh, that's mu middle name - great stuff!

[BogdanM]

... ce mai gasesc si eu prin spam-ul de la mail

 

 

mai intai africanii loviti de avioane, apoi loteria, sora cu parintii ucisii, acum si bernake vrea sa-mi dea bani

[dirzuandreiovidiu]

@Bogdan

 

Asta e ceva similar cu chestia "investitionala" primita de mine, de la niste africani, cred ca erau nigerieni , cu mentiunea ca asta e penibila din capul locului. C'mon: I beg you to open this now?! Pfff...

[BogdanM]

acusica ii compun si raspunsul, ii multumesc pentru propunere dar inca astept contraoferta lui Trichet. de asemeni sunt indisponibil pentru afaceri dupa amiaza asta deoarece trebuie sa-mi duc cainele la veterinar si sa fac piata (dar sa nu inteleaga ca sunt genul ala "market maker" ci doar casual - femeimea e market maker)

o sa-l rog eventual sa-mi spuna si mie unde vede dolarul peste 2 luni.

Editat Martie 12, 2011 de BogdanM

[danpav86]

[dirzuandreiovidiu]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47VyGM08Q04&feature=player_embedded

[dirzuandreiovidiu]

O stire bomba pe care am citit-o de pe internet:

 

Terorismul încotro? Evoluții și perspective în contextul crizei globale

 

"Liderii celor mai mari organizații islamice teroriste s-au întâlnit zilele trecute la Teheran la Summit "Terorismul încotro? - Evoluții și perspective în contextul crizei globale".

 

Cu toții au căzut de acord că Jihadul economic și Jihadul ecologic le-au luat pâinea de la gură, motiv pentru care în capul listei de propuneri pentru anul acesta stă scris: "Trebuie văzut cine produce Tsunami-urile și să cumpărăm și noi câteva. Dăm oricât."

 

Nerăbdător din fire și super excitat de perspectivele care se deschid, Bin Laden a scris pe un șervețel de la masă o scrisoare de amenințare către americani: "Dețin un Tsunami de 20 de metri înălțime pe care îl voi arunca deasupra Whashingtonului în cazul în care nu...". După care a băgat șervețelul în buzunar, urmând să se gândească în liniște acasă, în peșteră, la ce-ar vrea exact de la americani. Deși parcă vede că va sta iar toată noaptea la Wii cu vreo virgină.

 

O altă hotărâre importantă luată la acest Summit a fost reducerea arsenalului militar al rețelelor teroriste. Abu Hamza, directorul de Resurse Umane al grupării "Asbat al-Ansar", a propus ca o parte a arsenalului de bombe umane să fie detonat controlat în deșertul Betpak-Dala din Pakistan. Astfel, de azi a început detonarea câtorva sute de bărbați și femei care poartă veste de dinamită sau alte dispozitive explozive."

 

sursa

www.timesnewroman.ro

[tradelover]

Buffett has said that the $500 million dividend Goldman had been paying Berkshire broke down to nearly $16 a second, making every tick of the clock sound like music to his ears. But he said Goldman didn't seem to like hearing its money tick away.

 

Cum v-ar place sa castigati 16 dolari pe secunda, pentru o perioada de doi ani consecutiv, continuu, atât ziua, când munciti, dar şi noaptea când dormiţi?

 

Asta că tot se intrebau unii unde se duc banii nostrii, ai retailerilor

Editat Martie 19, 2011 de tradelover

[dirzuandreiovidiu]

Socant: adevarul din spatele accidentului lui Huidu

scris de Dirzu Andrei-Ovidiu

 

Vedeta emisiunii "Carcotasii", Serban Huidu a inregistrat pe data de 9 martie 2011, prima sa emisiune dupa teribilul accident de pe partia de ski din Austria. "Emisiunea a fost un real succes", ne-a declarat intr-un interviu dupa emisiune colegul sau de breasla Mihai Găinuşă. "Mai trebuie lucrat putin la circuite, deoarece daca misc putin mana, cand incerc sa il fac pe Serban sa zica o poanta, acestuia ii cade mandibula mai mult decat ar trebui.(Gainusa joaca rolul ventrilocului iar Huidu joaca rolul papusii). Si-n plus am mai observat ca i-a scazut debitul pentru glume obscene pe care le spunea intre montaje. Insa, in rest, este perfect functional.”

 

Va reamintim ca Serban Huidu a fost timp de mai multe saptamani internat la terapie intentiva, ca urmare a accidentului pe care l-a avut pe partia de ski cand se dadea cu sacul. A observat-o pe Zavoranca, fiind si ea prezenta pe partie alaturi de Pepe, bucurandu-se amandoi de zapada proaspat asezata. A pornit intr-o urmarire a acestora cu intentia de a o accidenta pe Oana. “Nu puteam sa stau si sa ma uit cum se distreaza pe vasul de wc ceramic T6, cum se dadeau “rotunzi” in fata prietenilor si isi faceau fotografii de parca doar ei ar fi existat. Barem, sa ii fi distrus acel model scump ornat cu cristale Swarovski. Doamne, de i l-as fi luat. As fi umplut blog-urile si conturile de hi5 si facebook, as fi fost cel mai tare, jur.” ne-a declarat acesta cu regret.

 

Ceea ce nu stie Huidu este ca din cauza Oanei a fost la un pas de moarte, de mai multe ori. In timpul spitalizarii, dupa ce interventia cranio-faciala a fost realizata, Oana Zavoranu a fost prima venit in vizita in salonul acestuia, vadit ingrijorata ca ar putea fi ultima oara cand l-ar vedea. S-a ingrijit de acesta si, dupa ce a dat o raita intr-un supermaket local, i-a introdus in perfuzie acestuia energizant cu gheata. Cand acesta a intrat in soc si Oana a fost prinsa de medici incercand sa mixeze gheata, aceasta s-a aparat zicand ca auzise la o prietena ca victimele accidentelor au nevoie urgenta de energie si lichide reci pentru a le pastra temperatura corpului constanta. “Exact asta am si facut pentru dragul de Huidu. De unde sa stiu ca era alergic la energizante?!”